There are 8 taboos to discipline children, each of which is related to children's futureŁ¨ Transfer to parents)
More and more parents attach importance to the education of their children. Family education seems simple, but it is a profound knowledge to do well in family education.
Rousseau, a French educator, said: "Do you know how to make your children miserable? This method is to be obedient to him and spoil him. "
Doting parents like to do everything for their children, which will inevitably make their children lose their independent ability.
Children growing up in such an environment will become more and more timid and insecure.
Develop a psychological dependence on their parents, such children will eventually become a bully in the family, even do not know how to respect others.
Therefore, parents ask you to let go and give their children a chance to be independent.
It is really good for children to cultivate their self-care ability and independent consciousness.
The secret of Jewish mother's education "Soft hearted is harm, ruthlessness is love. Who dotes on a child, who will one day bandage the child's wound. "
try to help the shoots grow by pulling them upward
It takes time to grow. You have to let it go.
In this anxious generation, many parents are "Don't lose at the starting line" and "be famous as soon as possible" And so on.
It seems that they should apply for more training classes to improve their children's scores. This is what parents should do for their children.
In fact, in kindergarten stage, it belongs to preschool.
This time should be the happiest, happiest and carefree time in a child's life.
But many kindergarten children are forced to write pinyin, recognize Chinese characters, do arithmetic and learn English.
Weekend also go to a variety of special classes, interest classes, this kind of advanced learning is actually against the nature of children.
This will also disrupt the child's physical and mental development order.
The philosopher Rousseau said: "If we disrupt this order, we will produce some early ripening fruits, which are neither plump nor sweet, and will soon rot
Don't see the strength of children
As the saying goes, "parents who can't see the advantages of their children can't raise promising children.".
In fact, children will feel expectation and affirmation from their parents.
The "expectation" of parents can point out the direction for children to move forward, while "affirmation" can bring confidence and motivation to children.
Parents' appreciation and positive evaluation will play an important role in the cultivation of children's self-confidence.
If the parents always think that the child has no advantages, it is easy to make him unable to play his talent.
This will not only affect their self-confidence, and even believe that they are worthless, even less enterprising.
Parents need to know that every child is a unique genius, and their uniqueness needs to be observed and discovered by parents.
Parents should always give their children encouragement and affirmation, let them believe in themselves and improve themselves.
Don't respect children
A child is respected by adults when he is young, and he will know how to respect others when he grows up.
Children's initial feeling of being respected comes from their parents, and the sense of respect for others is gradually established after many training and education in life.
Parents' respect for their children can help them form self-esteem.
Parents should put down their airs, put their children and themselves in an equal position, and strive to seek psychological communication and tacit understanding with their children.
Do not use authoritative tone to regulate children's behavior, limit his freedom and deny his ideas.
Respecting children can make them feel their parents' love and their own value.
Children will learn to respect their parents and others.
Babble on to children
Many parents have come into such a misunderstanding that if they talk to their children several times, they should know how to do it.
Research has shown that: repeatedly saying the same words, people will produce a habitual fuzzy hearing, that is, clearly listening, but not into the heart.
As a parent, don't always blame children for disobedience, but also should calm down to think whether they are really too nagging.
The endless nagging of children, in fact, not only does nagging not work, but also has a lot of negative effects.
Instead of preaching endlessly, we should try our best to show our children and set a good example for them.
Yelling at children
Yelling at children may be the most unwise behavior of parents, which is not conducive to the growth of children.
Parents who often use shouting to restrain their children are more likely to have personal attacks, verbal attacks and social withdrawal.
Yelling at your child will frustrate the child's courage and make him feel afraid.
Over time, children will lack of security, timidity, fear and lack of confidence.
In fact, there is no need to yell at your child. Sometimes learning to listen helps you understand your child better.
Only by listening to your child's heart, will he open his heart to you and express his thoughts and feelings.
Use cold violence
"Play on your own side", "Why are you so stupid", "are you bored", "if you don't obey me, I won't want you"
Have you ever said these words to children? In fact, in the process of saying these words, you used cold violence against children.
Neglect and indifference to children, complete denial, transfer of emotions to children, high expectations of children and so on are all manifestations of cold violence.
As a matter of fact, cold violence has great lethality. The generation of cold violence is transmitted by parents' casual words.
Parents of any sarcastic words, even a small hint also has considerable lethality.
Many parents only care about giving their children better material conditions, but they neglect their children's spiritual needs.
Under the long-term erosion of cold violence, children's character will become more and more indifferent and isolated.
Therefore, when parents educate their children, they need to give them more company and response.
Positive response can give children more encouragement and stimulate their potential.
Belittle a child's ability
Deliberately belittle and belittle children's ability, which is a manifestation of "spiritual punishment".
Parents can't often say something derogatory to their children
For example: "you are such a pig brain", "Why are you so stupid?"ˇ° If you can't do this well, what else can you do? "
If you often say these words to your child, you will only undermine the child's self-confidence.
Watching the program "youth said", many children complain that their parents always compare the children of other families with their own.
The phrase "children of other people's families" is likely to destroy children, which is not sensational.
In fact, every child has his own advantages and disadvantages. Many parents only see their children's disadvantages, but ignore their children's advantages.
It's not good to always compare children with other children.
You will only belittle their actual ability and undermine their self-confidence.
Discipline children, do not violate the above eight taboos.
Don't let your wrong way of education ruin the children's future!
[there are 8 taboos to discipline children, each of which is related to children's futureŁ¨ Related articles:
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five Six good ways to discipline children
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seven 100 messages from parents to their children
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